Abc’s of swinging

Hello, we’re ABCMAN and ABCWOMAN, and we are often called ABCCOUPLE by our friends in the Salt Lake lifestyle scene.  Our adventure began many years ago when we were watching a John Stossel interview of a swingers bar somewhere in the South (USA).  Well from there we slowly began our journey into the sexy world of swinging.

As I had stated, it began many years ago with a television report on this mysterious phenomenon called swinging, or the lifestyle.  In the beginning it kind of both freaked us out and interested us at the same time.  We both come from rigid religious backgrounds so the transformation took some time.  From watching soft porn shows on Cinemax, to fantasizing while making love to one another about having sex with others.  Then it moved to watching each other with others, and finally three years ago I came across a local swingers website.  (swingular.com)

At first I (male) signed up for my own account.  My wife didn’t know about it at this point and I only wanted to see what the hell it was all about.  What I didn’t realize is that my wife knew all about tracking URL sites on our PC, and soon had logged into the site herself.   What surprised me even more was that she was interested in the site as well.   This of course started a whole new round of discussing the reality of actually trying the lifestyle.

We also came across a rather popular podcast on Itunes, called Swingercast.  Soon John and Alley’s adventures further inflamed the desire to check this Lifestyle thing out.  About that time I was scheduled to attend a conference in Vegas for the industry I worked for at the time.  So I worked it out that she could visit me half way through the conference.  That weekend in Vegas we had our first experience with girl on girl action at a local strip club.  ABCWOMAN and the stripper had allot of fun (as much as you can legally) and then we booked it back to our hotel room to fuck like in heat teenagers.  The next night as directed by our stripper friend the night before, dropped in at the Green Door in Vegas.  This turned out to not be as thrilling as we thought, and perhaps in some ways we were not ready yet for that type of club.  So back to Utah we drove, excited about our weekend and looking forward to future parties.

The Utah scene is actually pretty hot in terms of swingers.  Everyone is surprised to realize what a healthy and vibrant community of swingers there are in Utah.  I think it’s because of the over whelming influence of the LDS church on this community.  Called it rebellion against preceived sexual repression, the Swingers in Utah are fast growing community.

We soon found ourselves getting more involved in the local meet and greets and private party’s.  And as we grew more comfortable with the whole concept, the opportunity to actually meet our first couple or single was quickly becoming more of a reality.  Contrary to what many think, swinging is not like a drive up fast food window.  It’s not as easy as some of my vanilla buddies seem to think and we found it frustrating at times in terms of meeting people that may want to take things to a sexual level.

Finally, after two years of attending party’s we finally had our proverbial cherry popped. Our first experience was with a single male, and the experience actually exceeded our expectations in some area’s and not so much in others.  The whole idea was HOT!  Performance anxiety was not a factor, but later after we talked I realized that my wife though enjoying the experience did not orgasm.  This we found to be the case again the next time we hooked with a couple.  The reality is when you mix ALLOT of alcohol and 40 year old bodies, it can often lead to a number of difficulties.  Blue pill can help, but it’s still not the same as being stone sober.

One thing we’re realizing with first time encounters with another couple or single, is that the first experience can often be exciting but not as full filling as our own sexual encounters.  Speaking to one of our friends, he suggested that the reason could be a number of issues, psychological, emotional, and often even sex in our own cases did not get real HOT until we knew each others wants and desires better.  This led to our discussion regarding how to communicate better with our lover during the act and how it could make a major difference in terms of fulfillment.

We’ve also noticed that swinging can dominate your weekends, and if you allow it to do so, dominate your life.  Like everything in life, moderation is the answer, and one that you absolutely need if you want to participate in the Lifestyle.  It is also a game of patience as well, and those whom don’t know how to be patient may rethink their commitment to this lifestyle.  Getting two people to connect in terms of time, emotion, sexual attraction is difficult enough.  Try getting 4 people on the same page! it can be a real tough prospect at times.

But the excitement of sharing one of your most intimate activities can be also a huge turnon as well.  We’ve found that our marriage has actually improved dramatically as well.  The key to this improvement is our communication about sex and our fantasy’s.  We also realize how important OUR relationship is in our marriage, and how important it is to be open and honest with one another.  We also realize that the act of sex is physical and emotional, but the deep emotional side of a relationship is so much more powerful.

We also have grown to appreciate one anothers skills in pleasing on another.  No longer am I thinking in the back of my head that maybe I don’t measure up to other guys.  She now understands that I’m not kidding when I tell she is beautiful.

Swinging/Lifestyle is as one friend of my mind put it, “A total mind fuck”, but if you can handle it, it’s also one of the hottest things you could do as a couple.

BTW- this blog is not going to be planned or scripted.  It’s just going to be our stories and experiences and thoughts about the lifestyle.